acceptance

To Drink or Not to Drink?

Hello there my lovely lovely readers!

I don’t know why the chirpy greeting, I’m not even feeling that up beat but hey, sometimes we need chirpy hellos 😛

Breakfast today, the usual. Getting bored of seeing it? I’ll try to vary it tomorrow!

Although I’m still feeling a little bit sad today I had a really productive day. This morning I read some more of my texts for this week and then got in Level 1 of the 30 Day Shred. I was sweaty and exhausted but I was happy with myself, I feel like I’m on the way to getting back on track. Finally!

Lunch was somewhat pitiful because I had almost no food left in the fridge:

A cinnamon raisin bagel with melted butter. Maybe simple and a bit lacking but still one of my favourite foods!

In the afternoon I finally made it into town to visit my favourite little local farm shop (as well as Sainsburys) 🙂 I got a full shop which was great so I now have a fridge full of fresh veg, dairy products and a cupboard stocked up again. As such I ate some crackers topped with taramasalata. I haven’t had any in ages and I love the stuff. It may be fatty but it’s also tasty 🙂

After my shop I ran off to my afternoon Shakespeare lecture – she was fantastic although it went on for almost an hour and 45 minutes so I was aching to stretch my legs by the time it was finished!

I then rushed back to get changed and go off to the gym with Trelawney. As I’d got in a workout in the morning it was only a quick one but I actually prefer short, high intensity workouts to longer ones.

Dinner was nice, quick, healthy and tasty:

Ok ok so I cheated and bought a packet of mixed stir fry veggies so all I had to do was actually stir fry them in soy sauce but you know what, I don’t care. I need some quick and healthy meals and this lets me have all of that. And I really liked the veggies in this mix, I wouldn’t be able to afford (or have the space) to buy all of the different vegetables in there!

Now to the subject of my title. Tessa over at Amazing Asset did a post recently which touches on some of the same issues, I’d definitely recommend you head over and read it. And whilst you’re there, read the rest of her blog, I love it and I love her! ❤

Since being at uni I have obviously been going out some evenings and enjoying a few drinks. But a lot of the people around me don’t enjoy a few drinks…they enjoy litres of drink. And I’m often surrounded by very drunk people. There are hoards of them going past my window at this very moment, quite a few dressed in very little and all of them looking pretty trashy. (Sorry that sounds bitchy but it’s kinda true!)

I know this makes me sound both a) like an old lady and b) a bit snooty but the thing is I just don’t understand why people do it!

To me getting really really drunk in some club surrounded by people I don’t know, with random guys trying to dance with you, disgusting toilets, over-priced drinks, sweat and everything else just sounds awful. And I have done it before, albeit it not that many times.

The thing is I can’t join in, even if I wanted to. I can’t stand up for that long, I definitely can’t dance for that long and if I drink a little bit too much, I don’t notice the pain so much and then I spend the next day in agony.

Don’t get me wrong, I have absolutely nothing against other people going out clubbing and drinking. I think everyone at uni should be able to go out and do what they enjoy. It’s just that sometimes I do feel left out. I feel like I should want to be getting drunk and partying the night away. I should want to go out clubbing with all of the others. I feel like by not enjoying it, that I’m being boring, unadventurous and not of the right age. And it does mean I miss out on a lot of the ‘uni experience’.

The thing is, I wish that I could find some people who were up for doing something else. Something more subdued, like going for a meal or just going to a bar for a few drinks and a relaxing time among friends.

Anyway in the spirit of being like an old person I’m going to get ready for bed and relax with a good book 🙂

What did you enjoy doing at uni?
Do you enjoy drinking lots and going out to clubs?
Any advice on how to feel a bit less left out?

Hope you all had a great start to the week and HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!
(I’m probably the only blogger not writing anything about Halloween today :-P)

Sophie x

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“Life Isn’t About Waiting For The Storm To Pass”

“Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s about learning to dance in the rain” (Anon)

I’ve been thinking about this quote a lot lately, ever since my mum sent my the image.

For me it is a particularly poignant quote in light of my condition. And speaking of which I just want to say a huge thank you for all of your wonderful comments and support. It really really means a lot to me that I have such lovely readers!

As I said in yesterday’s post I am struggling with my new life in terms of my physical issues. When I lived back at home full-time I never used to think of myself as handicapped let alone as actually being disabled. However coming to university, being independent and not having the comfort blanket of routine has shown me that I have to accept that I am now essentially disabled.

I walk with a cane.

I can’t walk for much longer than 15 minutes before feeling the ache grow and the exhaustion starting to mount.

I have to miss out on lots of student experiences because I just couldn’t physically take part.

But this quote reminds me that I can’t just sit passively and dwell on the pain and the struggle. For me, it’s as though there is a permanent storm above me and if I try to wait it out, I’ll be waiting forever. So I have to learn to “dance in the rain” so to speak.

And I think this doesn’t just apply to people like me with medical conditions. I think it can be applied to everybody’s life. People always get scared to try new things, worried about the consequences of putting themselves out there or too nervous to just let go of things holding them back. So everyone needs to get out there and dance, twirl and leap in the rain!

As a joke this morning Trelawney brought me round a little chocolate santa! I quickly set about beheading him and then gobbling up the rest of his rotund form :-P. Don’t worry I don’t start getting excited for Christmas till late November, I’m not a fan of commercialization!

Say hello to the beautiful Trelawney :-). We’ve been having a great time exploring both the uni and the city discovering all of the nicest cafes and restaurants. (Apologies for the slightly blurry photo!)

And because she’s so lovely she also brought me over a delicious (and again, completely out of season!) hot cross bun :-). Which I enjoyed with lovely melted butter and my splurge of the week: strawberries!

Today has been taken up by blog reading (it’s a must for my weekends), food shopping, work and just relaxing and chatting in the evening. As a consequence of my food shopping I was able to enjoy a lovely, veg filled dinner:

Veggie stir fry made up of broccoli, cauliflower, red pepper and mushrooms. Yummy!

And just so that you don’t think I’ve been eating ridiculously lightly today (not that I EVER post everything I eat!) I shall show you what I’ve been nibbling on throughout the afternoon:

Spicy bombay mix. There is nothing particularly healthy about it but I just love the dried chickpeas and the dried peas covered in spices.

Anyway I’d best say goodnight because I have quite a busy day tomorrow!

What quotes keep you going and help you stay positive?
When do you start getting excited for Christmas?

I hope you’re all having a great weekend 🙂

Sophie x

Fitness Friday + A Weird Feeling

Going home for just one night and hardly any daytime felt a bit strange.

If I’m completely honest with myself I know I really miss it.

I miss my family (we’re very close), I miss my house and my room, I miss my cat, I miss the comforts and I miss the support.

But I know I need to do this. It’s time to move on and find my own way!

(But it does still give me a weird feeling, even if that does make me a bit of a baby…)

Anyway I’m afraid I have very few photos for you, I just wanted to enjoy my time with my mum and sister (my dad is away for work).

This evening one of my flatmates offered to share some spaghetti bolognese if I provided the tomatoes and the garlic and herbs. I love spag bol so was definitely ok with that idea 🙂

Now as the title suggests, it’s Fitness Friday!

This week I have to admit, I didn’t do very well with my workouts. I’ve been exhausted and quite frankly often in too much pain to find the motivation. However, I have now joined the gym and this if nothing else is plenty of motivation to get going!

Saturday – 30 Day Shred + a nice cycle. I’ve got my cycle map and I want to find a good route 🙂
Sunday – Full on Upper Body Strength Workout (my arms are way too weak at the moment, I need to build things back up)
Monday – Might go to the gym! If not another 30 Day Shred
Tuesday – Lower Body Strength Workout + Abs
Wednesday – There may be a fitness class that appeals… more about that nearer the time.
Thursday – This is my busiest day next week so I think it’ll probably be a quick workout.
Friday – Upper Body Strength Workout

So there you have it 🙂

I’m sure you’ve noticed, there is no rest day. This doesn’t mean I’m going to workout every single day! I just know that on at least one day I won’t be able to workout and therefore I always have to plan ahead. We shall see…

Tonight my flatmates want to go out clubbing. I’d rather go to a bar but obviously I’m not going to isolate myself so I’ll go. I know that makes me sound pretty boring but I just don’t enjoy clubbing, it’s too painful and I won’t be able to leave early because I can’t afford a taxi by myself!

So with that little moan it’s off to get ready 😛

And for those of you that are wondering what these changes I hinted at are, I’m planning to write a long and revealing post tomorrow 🙂

I hope you had a good Friday!

Sophie x

Living With Chronic Pain – Part 1

Hey everyone 🙂

Sorry for disappearing like that last night, I just couldn’t face writing a post.

I often mention my issues, but bar the tiny explanation in my first ever post, I’ve never really gone into any detail on it.

It all started when I was about 13 years old.

I used to dance, I did ballet and contemporary as well as volunteering as an assistant with the younger classes.

I didn’t dance as much as some girls but I loved it and it was a part of my life. Afterall, I started ballet when I was only 3 years old!

Almost 5 years ago now I started noticing a pain in my left hip when I did certain movements and gradually it worsened and spread to the right hip too. It wasn’t extreme pain but it made it pretty much impossible to dance anymore.

At this point we weren’t too worried, although there didn’t seem to be a source of injury, we figured I must have damaged something through dancing, maybe just something like tendonitis.

Obviously my GP refered me to the hospital where I had my first x-ray. Nothing. Then an MRI. Still nothing. At this point I started to be a little worried.

After seeing a few more specialists it was decided to send me to a Physio. I saw two Physios, the first specialised in sports injuries and she gave me dozens of exercises to do everyday and the second concentrated more on acupuncture.

Neither worked.

And we still had no diagnosis.

By this point I was no longer dancing and could do almost no form of exercise. I stuck to cycling to school which meant cycling for 2 miles a day however I ate as usual. Over the next couple of years things gradually got worse and I put on weight. I was never fat but when you were naturally thin all your life and you suddenly find yourself with a womanly figure emotionally it is hard to handle.

Enter the beginning of my negative relationship with my body and my issues with food.

I was now miserable with my self and in increasing amounts of pain and at 15 years old, when you’re facing all of the other teenage issues, it’s difficult to deal with.

I’d like to say things got better, and I guess in some ways they did, but on the whole things have only degenerated however that can all be saved for another post.

Sorry if that was a bit of a negative post compared to usual!

I’ll be back to my usual self tomorrow, I promise.

I shall leave you with a picture of some happy cupcakes 🙂

Hope you’re all having a good weekend!

Sophie x

Fitness Friday + A New Favourite

It’s been a mixed day food wise, I’ve enjoyed some healthy food and some…not so healthy food. It’s all been good though.

Breakfast was the usual favourite:

Do I even need to elaborate?

Today was another trip to town (I suppose I should make the most of having money to spend in cafes before I become a full-time student!) to meet with friends for coffee and then lunch.

We took another trip to the cafe, Costa this time (I know, two in the space of 48 hours) and I got another iced skinny vanilla latte.

Today’s lunch was another departure from the norm this time to McDonalds.

Sometimes you just have to allow your body its cravings.

To be fair, it was only a happy meal.

I’ll admit, it’s not as attractive my usual fare, but it sure was tasty.

Things will probably improve soon health wise, I’m just indulging whilst on holiday but if I’m honest I prefer eating healthily most of time, it just makes me feel better. I do like treats though 😉

Anyway, to the topic of the post…

Fitness Friday!

Here’s the plan:

Saturday – 2 Mile Cycle + Ab Workout
Sunday – Upper Body Strength Workout
Monday – 3 Mile Cycle + Lower Body Strength Workout
Tuesday – 30 Day Shred
Wednesday – Ibiza!!!

Sound good?

Dinner tonight was pretty exciting.

I made a new recipe.

From a new book.

Peas and Thank You.

If you don’t know what I’m talking about you need to click that link asap.

Where have you been?

The fabulous Mama Pea makes the best vegan food around and tonight I made her Thai Veggie Burgers.

They were delicious.

Everyone in my family (who are all pretty keen on meat) enjoyed them. I served them with her Butternut Squash Fries and salad.

Yummy!

Thank you Mama Pea 🙂

Sophie x

Acceptance is…

Hey there!
I hope you all had a good start to your week 🙂

Whilst I was trying to come up with interesting posts to write for you to read during my time away in Spain I stumbled across a sheet I was given at the Pain Clinic earlier this month. It’s a sheet on learning to accept your condition in order to move forward and although it wasn’t particularly useful for me in that context (I’ve already accepted my condition) it highlights some interesting issues.

In life things often get thrown at you over which you have little to no control. For a lot of people (myself included) it’s difficult to cope with things we have no control over and this can lead to stress and anxiety. It’s important to remember that just because you have to change your plans or your goals does not mean you have failed in any way. Adjustment and compromise are signs that you are dealing with the problem in a positive way.

Acceptance is not:

  • Surrendering to the problem
  • A sign of weakness or inadequacy
  • Quitting
  • Failure

Acceptance is:

  • A willingness to think about change
  • Understanding that the problem you’ve encountered does not have to rule your life
  • Focusing on the future
  • A positive way of approaching your problems
  • Working towards finding a solution for your problem

Acceptance is not easy. It takes a strong person to accept their problems and move forwards. Acceptance is an emotional task involving coming to terms with something that might be senseless, confusing, undeserved and imposed upon you. Acceptance needs to be reached if you want to move forward in your life.

Acceptance is just a positive step in the right direction.


Sophie x