I read a quotation once which resonated deeply within me, it felt like it had been written just then, especially for me to learn from.
‘Do not chase people. Be you, do your own thing and work hard. The right people who belong in your life will come to you and stay.’
It’s such a powerful message, particularly for someone like me who has always cared more about what others think than I should. The statement isn’t suggesting that you shouldn’t make an effort with people, of course you should. But you shouldn’t put yourself out there so much that you lose some of yourself. Sometimes we must open ourselves to rejection, we have to be brave and take a chance, because often what people regret the most in the end is the chances they didn’t take, rather than mistakes they made. However you shouldn’t open yourself up for someone else to hack away at your soul. The people who choose to hurt you simply don’t deserve you.
True friendship is a gift. There are those who will only ever be fair weather friends and then there are those that will always be there for you. They are the special ones.
Oscar Wilde once wrote that you should ‘never love anybody who treats you like you’re ordinary.’ I think this is important for any relationship. Relationships are hard work, work for them. But never let them work away at you. You are the most important character in your own life story.
When my health was at its worst in my first year of university there were certain people who always had time to lend an ear or a shoulder to cry on. When I feel like I’m being sucked into a never-ending whirlpool of work stress there are always people here to pull me back out. When my self-esteem takes a beating I know I have people to turn to. When I am just feeling a bit low, there is always someone. I know I am lucky.
So if you are the eternal people-pleaser, afraid to say anything or fight back, always trying to have everyone like you, just remember that, as Dr Seuss so aptly put it: ‘be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter, don’t mind.’
I hope you are all having a lovely weekend, I’m off to cry my eyes out watching Romeo and Juliet in the cinema!