The 1st of January. 2013.
It feels crazy to be writing that down. The last year has truly been a year like no other and I can’t quite wrap my head around the fact that it all happened in one year.
I have always liked the start of the year. I like the sense of a fresh start, of moving forwards, of new experiences ahead. I enjoy the new sense of motivation and inspiration it brings and the way it allows us to begin new projects and create new goals. It is a time to look back at all that has passed, but equally to look forward to all that may happen. For me this year will mark my 20th birthday, my 5 year anniversary with Tom, the movement from the second year of my degree to the last year…
What always astounds me is how much can change in the space of just a single year. In 2012 I went from being at university away from home like most undergraduate students, to making the decision to transfer to a university closer to home and then moving back in with my family. It wasn’t an easy decision but I believe now that it was the right one to make. 2012 is the year in which Tom graduated from university after 4 years and moved to London to start work in the real world. It is also the year in which I started to move away from my eating hang ups and body issues. The year in which I gained confidence in my ability to be independent. The year which made me realise how important the people I love are in my life.
Reading back my resolutions from last year I actually think that while perhaps I did not fulfill all 12 of them to the last degree, the overall impression is of success. I have become healthier both physically and mentally, I worked hard and got a good mark at the end of my first year, I looked after myself better, spent more time doing the things I enjoy, spent more time on the people I love, read lots, wrote, reflected, developed… become happier
This year, I don’t want to make new year’s resolutions in the way I have in the past.
I’m not that person anymore. I like lists, but my lists are not of endless tasks the way they used to be; my lists are of wishes, of future dreams, of ideas.
This year, I am not resolving anything. To resolve means to find a solution, effectively to fix something. But I cannot fix what is not broken and as the new year begins, I honestly don’t feel as though there is anything to fix in my life. I am incredibly blessed in life, and so because I am so thankful for all that is good in my life, this year, my aim and my wish is to do more.
I want to do more of what I love, try harder in everything I do, throw myself into new opportunities, push myself to be a better person.
Doing more of everything means being healthier, means being more active and more proactive. I am so lucky to have a caring and supportive family so I want to do more with them. I am also fortunate to have the opportunity to get a degree so I want to work more and try even harder to achieve the best I can. I have lovely friends, people I adore spending time with so I want to do that more often. I am lucky to have my health, I may be exhausted 80% of the time and constantly sore but it could be so much worse, so I want to make the most of doing the most that I am able to do. And I am more than lucky to have a wonderful boyfriend with whom I am so happy, so I want to fill my life with memories of the things with experience together.
This year may be the year my health improves, and it may not. But it will be the year in which I continue to grow as a person, and it will also be the year in which I continue to find happiness.
I hope you all have a wonderful 2012, and I wish you all the best in everything that you wish to do this new year!