Quickly scanning my blog I have come to realise that lately it doesn’t exactly resemble most other ‘healthy living blogs’. The last few posts have featured several indulgent frappes, tray bakes, chips and cookies (as well as other healthier meals obviously). But this is the thing. Although in my description I mention my passion for healthy living, which don’t get me wrong I still am, I don’t see this blog as a typical healthy living blog. It’s more of a life blog.
My definition of healthy living is constantly evolving. How can it change? Well this year in particular I’ve learnt that it’s to do with a lot more than the food that passes through my mouth and the energy I expend.
Healthy living is about balance and moderation, and it is also just as much about your mental health as your physical state.
I don’t eat heaps of food and I don’t eat treats everyday. But having said that, most of the time if I fancy a treat, or find myself craving some junk, I will just eat it. I’m sure many you know what it is like to struggle with slightly disordered eating, I think most women experience that sort of issue at some point in their lives. It has taken a long time and a lot of effort on my part to get to a point where I don’t feel guilty about what I eat.
Sure if I do have a bit of an absent-minded binge when studying I feel a little bad, mostly from the discomfort it causes. But I can proudly say that I have got to a state of mind where I no longer begrudge myself a few indulgences here and there.
It actually amazes that I can say that. I wasn’t sure that I ever would.
I’m not going to lie, I still know roughly how many calories I eat in a day, purely because I can’t really forget how many calories are in most foods, but I don’t count them anymore. I also do still occasionally have days when I feel a bit bloated. But I have come so far in the last year.
My relationship with food is just so much healthier. Food is fuel because I know it keeps my body functioning, something I sorely need with my condition, but food is also something to enjoy. I love cooking almost as much as I love eating and I really like searching for new recipes to try and new foods to taste.
I hope that if you are struggling, as I did for years, that you are able to take some comfort from this post. It is possible to work through it and overcome your issues, I am slowly and surely getting there. Stay strong and carry on trying, there is always hope for better times ahead!
Have you struggled with disordered eating?
Do you feel guilty when you eat something indulgent?
Do you have any advice for someone still struggling or people like me who are on their way?