Getting on with it.

Sometimes, when people find out I have a chronic condition, they ask endless questions (not that I mind) and often the response I get is “How do you deal with all of that? I think I’d just want to die!”

In many ways it’s not really a very helpful response although part of me is grateful to them for realising just how much it can be a struggle. However, I always answer in the same way.

You just have to suck it up and deal with it.Β 

Life won’t just sort itself out.

It’s down to you.

I know that sounds tough, and goodness knows it rarely feels that simple. But the fact is that millions of people deal with illness, injuries and disability everyday of their lives and if everyone went around complaining or just gave in, the world would be a sorry place.

I’m not going to lie, sometimes (especially recently) I just want to curl up into a ball and cry, I just want to give up, to take time away from everything, to slip into a state of numbness. But you can’t, that isn’t how life works. You have to be strong for other people, and for yourself.

You never know what is going to happen, sometimes life throws things at you which quite frankly suck. I should know πŸ˜‰ What I’ve come to learn though, is it’s much less about what happens to you and much more about how you deal with it, it’s about not giving up.

Lately, I’ve not been feeling very well. You may have noticed that I’ve been fairly absent from the blogworld, I’m behind on writing posts and I haven’t been commenting on all of your fabulous blogs as often as usual. My energy levels have been incredibly low, it takes all of my effort to go into town for a few hours and I wake up in the morning feeling as tired as when I went to sleep in the first place.

Obviously feeling like this has in turn left me feeling quite down. It’s hard to stay positive when it feels like you’re struggling with everyday tasks and exams are approaching.

But I don’t want to let myself sink into a pool of negativity, when I start feeling down like this I know I have to pick myself back up because it would be so easy to end up feeling far worse by lack of productivity and distraction.

So I’m making the active decision toΒ make myself better.

I’m clearly not talking about my actual physical issues here. Other than doing my physio everyday there isn’t much I can do there to improve things, I’ll leave that to the professionals. But I can do a lot to improve how I feel and to improve the way I deal with my condition.

StartingΒ todayΒ I am going to do several things, each and everyday.

  1. Productivity. I am going to make sure I do something everyday, being productive makes me feel more positive.
  2. Activity. I am going to do something active everyday – whether it is just a little walk, a bike ride or a strength workout, doing something physical always helps my energy levels (as long as I don’t overdo it obviously!).
  3. Eat well. Pretty self-explanatory. I have been eating pretty well lately, a good balance of healthy and delicious which always helps me feel better.
  4. Read and write. Although I’ve been working a lot, I’ve actually managed to find the time to read for pleasure and it’s a great way of distracting myself when the pain becomes too much. I also bought myself a new moleskin journal and I want to start journaling again because I like using the time to reflect.

Hopefully these four little goals will help me build my positivity back up!

I also want to get back into blogging and everything this wonderful community involves again. I’ve missed it, despite just feeling a bit too rubbish and I’m going to make a big effort to post more πŸ™‚

When you feel down what do you do to bring yourself back up?
Any words of advice for me?

What are your plans for this coming weekend?Β 

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21 comments

  1. So so sorry to hear you’ve been feeling blue lately. But man, I think it is SO fantastic you’re taking control and steps to make yourself happy! Reading, walking/being outdoors and writing definitely help me relax and have fun πŸ™‚
    Sending hugs, hope your Thursday is wonderful pretty lady! It’s almost the weekend woohoo!! πŸ˜€

  2. That’s too bad you have had low energy levels recently, but it’s great that you have made a game plan. When I’m feeling down I usually try to accomplish a goal or learn a new hobby. That feeling of accomplishment tends to help my mood πŸ™‚

  3. Really sorry to hear you have being having a bad time of it lately.

    I can sort of empathise with having this crappy glandular fever. I really respect you for how well you deal with your illness and work so hard at being optimistic. On the rough days I have, I really just can’t be bothered to even try and be optimistic. I have periods of absolute resentment and then I come out of it and think that I’m being completely self indulgent and I shouldn’t complain at all. It’s hard when people think you are okay, or maybe overstating your fatigue for sympathy or something. Then just the thought of facing an essay I have due in on Monday when I can’t even concentrate for a decent period of time – it’s easy to get yourself even bluer.
    I’m going to try and feed myself well and get lots of healing foods into my system and hope it helps. I think I might also join you on the getting back into blogging aswell – it can be a really great outlet! Maybe if you like doing your nails or doing make-up-type things you could give yourself a bit of a pampering? That often makes me feel better about myself and thus a bit more sort awake and positive.

    The weekend? Essay writing unfortunately! πŸ˜‰

    Hope you have a nice weekend and indulge yourself in lots of reading for pleasure!

    1. Oh that sounds tough, I can imagine how easy it is to feel low about it. I really hope that you start to recover a bit! I feel bad because many people don’t understand quite how badly glandular fever can affect a person. It sounds like you have a good plan to help yourself pull through, I really do hope it does you lots of good! You have such a great attitude to life πŸ™‚ I hope the essay writing went well!

  4. Yes, I tell people that it’s not really a choice. I have to battle this disease or else I would not be alive any more.

    My goal: Live every day so that it counts before God. Live almost every day so that it mattered to someone that I was alive.

    – before God: In the Old Testament, certain people are listed in genealogies and all their days are counted. Every day of their life mattered to God to such an extent that He made it part of the permanent record. I aspire to that. If it’s a little prayer, a whisper of thanks, a glimpse of His goodness, a plea for endurance…, it’s something eternal.

    – before man: Some days I don’t interact with anyone at all, so I just say “almost every day.” This can be really small: smiling at someone in the check-out line, complimenting someone on their outfit, answering the phone when a friend class OR it can be something bigger: teaching a classroom full of students, entertaining pediatric patients, serving as the church pianist, etc.

    When I look back on a day, I want to be assured that I mattered that day. I know that sometimes the smallest things can make my day and really change my life. I want to be that for someone else. And even if I can’t do anything else, I know in my heart that I mattered.

    I don’t know if that helps you at all, but it makes a big difference for me.

    With love,
    Abigail Cashelle

  5. I know exactly how you feel. A lot of times that I tell people that it’s not a choice. I have to fight this battle if I want to still be alive.

    Dealing with all of this? My goals: (1) Live every day so that it counts before God. (2) Live almost every day so that I mattered to someone.

    (1) In the Old Testament, certain people’s days are explicitly numbered. Their lives were important to God to the extent that He made a permanent record of how many days they lived.

    I aspire to that. I want every day to have something eternal. A little prayer, a glimpse of His care, a plea for help, a recollection of a verse… something that counts.

    (2) Some days I interact with no one at all. So I just say “almost every day.”

    It doesn’t take much. Smiling to a stranger, greeting someone in the checkout line, complementing someone’s outfit, unloading the dishwasher, listening to a friend… the simple things can make someone’s day. If I wasn’t alive, that person’s life would be different.

    On days when I have more energy, I strive for bigger things: teaching a classroom full of students, baking dessert for friends, planning the perfect gift for someone, serving as the church pianist, etc.

    There’s a sense of validation that comes when you realize that you matter in the grand scheme of things. If you weren’t alive, things would go on, but it really wouldn’t be the same. That helps me continue to fight the battle.

    I hope that helps you as much as it helps me.

    Best wishes,
    Abigail Cashelle

    1. Hi Abigail, first of all thank you so much for visiting my blog and leaving such lovely comments! It’s always so nice to come across new readers πŸ™‚

      I am really sorry that you are suffering but also really pleased to hear that you are striving to fight it! You have a really wonderful attitude and I really appreciate all of your kind words of advice. I can definitely away a lot of positivity from what you’ve said.

      I hope you are well!

  6. I think that is a superb attitude to have. We are the masters of ourselves and often its a change of perspective that is needed. I think you are amazing for being able to pull yourself round like that when so many others would struggle. When I’m feeling down I tend to try and identify exactly what it is that is making me feel that way and try and change what is in my power to change. If not then I change my perspective on it instead! I also have my little ‘happy list’ where I keep a note of all the little things that make me happy and remind me how beautiful life can be, it never fails to cheer me up πŸ™‚

    1. Thank you so much Laura! I really appreciate everything you’ve said here :-). I think your attitude to addressing anything getting you down is fantastic, sometimes all we need is a change of perspective. I love that you keep a ‘happy list’ that is just such a lovely idea!

  7. I’m so sorry you haven’t been feeling well. I hope feel better! I love the goals you’ve set for yourself and your integrity towards feeling better. Just keep a positive attitude and you can continue get through this πŸ™‚

  8. This first line β€œHow do you deal with all of that? I think I’d just want to die!” made me spit out my drink b/c I asked my mom something similar. It sounds so awful here.

    I am sorry you’ve been down. I feel you, though I’m not in much pain, I was just so darn depressed. I’ve been slacking in the blog world too.

    I think I just found myself immersed in the Hunger Games until I was ready to come out πŸ˜‰

    1. Oh don’t worry Ali, we all say things like that sometimes without thinking! I’m sorry you’ve been feeling depressed – it really isn’t easy at all so I can completely understand πŸ™‚ Hope you’re feeling a little better!

  9. You’re ace, I love your positive attitude no matter what is going on. I have to leave the house every day, or I get really down and don’t know what to do with myself (seriously) even if it’s just a walk to the shop on the end of the road. Exam solitary confinment makes me so sad. Hope these steps are working for you chick. As if exams are nearly upon us, it only seems like yesterday you went to uni!

    1. Aw thank you so much Leigh πŸ™‚ Yes I know what you mean, I hate being confined to the house, I’ve been struggling to leave the house lately because of the horrible weather and it always makes me feel a bit down. Haha yes I know, can’t believe I’ve almost finished my first year! Hope your exam prep is going well lovely πŸ™‚

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